5 golden rules for a positive married life

Having a positive attitude helps in life: it doesn’t mean to deny what goes wrong, but rather to develop competences that help us adapt when challenged. Franck Martin, French author of the book “Optimistes!”, has listed twenty rules to live a colorful and positive life. We have chosen five of them that conveniently apply to couples.

1. REALITY VS IMAGINATION. Most of the time we think negative, but reality actually is the way you interpret it. If you suspect your husband is cheating on you because you have seen him having lunch with some beautiful woman, don’t jump to the negative conclusion immediately. Comunicate with him, and ask gently.

2. SOLUTION AND ACTION. Don’t block yourself in repetitive thoughts that make you a victim of some situation. Elaborate clear thoughts about it and act on them. For example, instead of focusing on the huge house you can’t buy, recognize your resources and make realistic plans accordingly.

3. FOCUS ON YOUR STRENGTH. Avoid being obsessed with what you cannot do and rather put your talents on the stage. Instead of thinking about all your flaws and compare with other (thinner) women, just be proud of your body: your husband chose you, including your cellulite.

4. POSITIVE APPROACH. Our brain recognizes as true whatever we affirm. If you thing negative, it will register and produce negative emotions. Try to transform that. It’s useless to say ‘I don’t want my marriage to fail’, say instead ‘I will do my best to make my marriage work’.

5. NO JUDGING. Negative people judge themselves and others. Everyone makes mistakes, but that doesn’t define who the person is for real. So let yourself or your partner be wrong without making a big deal out of it.